Those Skeletons in the Closet Keep Knocking...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Pigglez, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. Pigglez

    Pigglez Promethean
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    Hi. I'm a guy who used to frequent these forums...

    Just felt like saying hi, because I've been incredibly inactive in the last 5 months, and I wanted to talk about serious things in this thread. Basically, to start off, I just got back from 6 weeks in California, where I took film/acting classes at UCLA and Pepperdine University. Pretty fun stuff. I took an Improv class (amazingly fun) a Sit-Com Writing class, (not as fun) and a Digital Filmmaking class (fun). Anyway, aside from meeting some mediocre famous people like John Cryer and Doug Elin, I learned a lot about my future, and what I want out of it... so as not to bore you, I will not delve into this.

    Anyway, my reasons for not being here in the past months has been personal stuff, but in an effort to help myself, I feel like venting to you. Basically, I've been suffering from very serious depression, and came an inch away from Suicide at one point, knife to my chest and tears down my eyes, I really wanted to do it... but I realized it was wrong thankfully. To add to that, my parents then announced they are getting divorced, and that led to all kinds of crazy ****, like my dad being evicted by police from my house for no good reason, and my grandma and older sister (really crazy **** as I mentioned) getting into a fistfight.

    I am not asking for sympathy or anything, I just wanted to clear up my absence, and to get out some feelings of my own.

    Anyway, I've been going to a therapist, been put on medication, yada yada... my life has been getting better, so I've been feeling happier with myself and whatnot.

    So yea... that's why I've been gone, and now I'm here because I had nothing to do and felt like posting something. To make this thread a bit more open to discussion, feel free to discuss any serious problems you've dealt with in the past and how you overcame them and whatnot. Who knows, this could become some sort of crazy psychological evaluative mediation thread... or not. I don't know.

    I can't say I want to become more active on here again, because I don't know what the future holds. I might or might not when Reach comes around, but in the case I don't, I suppose this could also count as a bit of a farewell? I don't know. This site has been such a huge part of the past two and a half years of my life. I met some incredibly awesome people here... namely Juggernaut448 and Sixpakvb, whom spend every single day talking to me on skype. We've grown waaaay too close lol. But to name others, Knight Kninja, if he is even still on here, and Reaper of Bunny, whose name has changed so much I don't remember what it currently is, so I'll go by what I met him as. Then there's a lot of names to just throw out there, like Linu, Reyn, Sharp, Dom, Nemi... everyone at the GnA... idk, sorry if I forgot you.

    So idk what will happen in the future, but I guess I just layed it all out on the line there. It's been a hell of a ride. I'll leave you with a saying my father loves...

    "Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right."

    I feel that is what happened when I came here. Thanks to all. =D
     
  2. Ladnil

    Ladnil Promethean
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    I live with depression too, and the best piece of advice I can give you is to always be aware of what you're thinking and feeling, and don't do things for the wrong reasons. Try to take the actions and make the decisions you think you would make if you felt better, and over time you improve and you don't have to force yourself to make those decisions anymore. It's hard to do, depression wouldn't be as serious as you know it is if it was easy, but it makes a world of difference.

    Best of luck to you, and never stop fighting to improve your life. Ever.
     
    #2 Ladnil, Aug 9, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2010
  3. Mace

    Mace Old Tyme
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    Well, I hope you do comeback. The gna could use a monthly style again. <3

    Protip to newbgafs: Don't even bother.
     
  4. Kitten X

    Kitten X Promethean
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    tl;dr at the bottom

    One thing I want to share: I used to smoke cigarettes and I quit.

    Before I really started smoking cigs, I had smoked once when I was 14 (that's a whole different story) and I never touched a cigarette again until late '09. At this time in 2009 I was temporarily in a rock band (that's another very interesting story; we were called The Opposite) and I noticed that when I was playing, even though my hands were full with a guitar, I felt kinda empty-handed. I didn't know what the problem was at first, but I figured out that I felt too "plain" on stage; as in, I lacked a "cool" style. I tried to dress in a punk fashion and I wore a bit of eyeliner when we performed and that seemed to somewhat help the irritating feeling.

    One day, I went to a local band's show with a friend and I noticed one of their guitarists was smoking a cigarette while he was playing. I thought it looked kinda cool and figured since I quit so easily before, I could quit it again right after I'm done with The Opposite. Anyway, my friend who was there with me smokes cigarettes, so I thought I'd start smoking right then and there by borrowing a cig from him. It's also worth mentioning that the theater we were in was filled with marijuana fumes so the second-hand-smoke probably influenced that decision.

    Within next few weeks I continued smoking at the band's practices and at our final performance. I even started to smoke a lot outside of The Opposite; in fact, I did this more so. A month after I started smoking, I was done with The Opposite, but I continued to smoke cigarettes.

    At my peak, I smoked a pack per day. I didn't even think anything of this "habit" at the time. Smoking seemed to become a natural, everyday activity for me. I didn't really consider stopping until my six-month smoking anniversary. That was around March of this year. What set me off was when I saw a couple kids who were possibly around 14 years old collecting cigarettes off the ground at a bus-stop. As I was smoking at the time, they assumed I had a lighter so they approached me and asked me, "Can we get a light?" I looked at them awkwardly and pulled out my lighter. They held out the unfinished cigarettes as I was about to light them, but I hesitated and asked rhetorically, "Did those come from the ground? You know, you don't know who used those before you; they could have herpes or something," then I pulled out my pack, gave them each one of mine, and lit them both. They said thanks and went on to their own business. I figured, even if I refused to light the unfinished cigs for them, they would ask someone else or wait until later, so I gave them some fresh cigarettes. It was probably the best thing I could have done.

    After that event, for some reason, I vowed to finish off the pack of cigarettes that I currently had, and to never smoke again. Surprisingly, despite the difficulty others have when attempting to quit smoking, I actually very easily never smoked again. I had smoked for six months and I quit just like that. Maybe it was the video games that helped, maybe it was the hiatus I took from society after that phase of my life. Whatever it was, I was glad to have stopped smoking. Now I realize how disgusting smoking and smokers are in the long run.

    Now, don't consider my personal experience for yourselves. IRL, I know plenty of people who are trying/have tried to quit smoking cigarettes and most have failed miserably. I don't know what my problem is, but I don't get very addicted to cigarettes.


    tl;dr I smoked for a while, but when I decided to quit, I quit really easily for some reason.
     
  5. Hat

    Hat Guest

    I never want to get addicted to any drugs, and not just because drugs are bad mkay. When ever I get candy or gum i eat it all super fast. I once ate three packs of starburst in five minutes. I know if i get on drugs i will do it a lot.
     
  6. Vinny

    Vinny Promethean
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    Comparing drugs to food is like comparing masturbation to playing with your nipples.

    It's just not as good.
     
    #6 Vinny, Aug 10, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2010
  7. halo kid

    halo kid Promethean
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    You may not remember me,but Im happy to hear from you,not happy to hear what you've been through,but happy to see you back. Being a random guy from the internet,I cant have much on the matter,so all I have to say is I hope everything turns out good for you.
     
  8. Hat

    Hat Guest

    Um okay. What I was saying is that when I get something I like I will usually eat it really fast. Drugs are bad for you, but we all know the reason people keep doing it is because they may have liked what it did and they're addicted. If I got drugs I would probably over dose because I would use it all really fast.
     
  9. Prosper

    Prosper Promethean
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    I miss your sarcasm, Pigglez.
     

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